i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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