he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
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There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
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I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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