Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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