I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
