i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
