I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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