So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
jump out the window naked night went bad
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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