Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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