my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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