i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize