Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize