the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
