This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You work out of a Hotel?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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