Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
its liver damage thursday
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
