Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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