WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
