community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
