I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize