I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize