my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
