I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Is Oprah even human
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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