Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
