we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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