She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
