dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
please come you make the beer taste better
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize