but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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