Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
