bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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