Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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