I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
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I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize