He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
