She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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