I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
