Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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