I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
