If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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