I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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