i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
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To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
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Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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