Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
too bad you live with your parents still
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
