Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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