No, drunk sperm still make babies.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
