I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.