Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
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He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
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Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.