I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.