I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.