Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
