I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
