dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
