no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
