Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
3 2 1 whiskey
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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