My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
