If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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