in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
