while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
