me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
