Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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