How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
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