okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
