it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
