You just made me feel so damn special
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
