i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
