I feel great
I just peed on a car
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
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I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
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Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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